Omens

This may be kind of an odd post to many people, but it accurately reflects how I feel. I am scared to death because I am convinced, despite their 90 to 95% probability, that I will find out tomorrow that the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes. Two major reasons for this belief:
First: I haven't gotten any kind of a sign from Chris to make me believe that everything is going to be okay. I pray and I talk to Chris about everything important in my life and I always get some kind of a signal givning me guidance. Sometimes it is very concrete and sometimes it is only a warm and fuzzy feeling, but it is always there. I have prayed and talked to Chris multiple times a day throughout this ordeal and nothing.
Secondly, my late sister's husband Mitch told me that he felt Jennie's presence with him around the time that I went to see the dermatologist and he couldn't understand why her presence would be felt then. I believe that Jennie was helping Mitch to prepare her kids, Becca and Matthew, to deal with cancer again. I am very close to Becca and Matt, I couldn't love them any more unless they were mine.